Saturday, October 30, 2021

Anyone interested in my life of abuse?

 I’vee not posted much lately but I’m just overwhelmed by how much abuse I’ve gone through and hidden it from everyone. Child physical abuse at age 5, sexual abuse at age 6-13. Another family member sexual abusing me at various ages , I had a mark that let the people know they could get away with it. 

My mother has abus d drugs sines before I was born . I was apparently addicted to speed when I was born. I now suture from anxiety disorder and bipolar disorder. I’m assuming it’s from the drugs in my small diet… I’m just sick and tired of all the lies and bull shit!! I want a normal life. Please hel me if you can….

Saturday, August 1, 2020

Ready to Go Home?



A feeling of heaviness and uncertainty are looming across this country and world like I have never experienced before. It’s not just one thing to point to but many. A deadly virus that is keeping us separated and worried, civil injustice and riots that scare us, leaders that are untrustworthy, and media that cannot be trusted. These examples are not all that is putting pressure on the average person. Unemployment and uncertain futures for our families are at the forefront of every home across the country. Many theologians are referring to this as the beginning of the end times. I tend to believe that its almost time for Jesus to move His children to safer pastures.


Jesus is the Good Shephard and as Christian Believers, we are "His" sheep that follow Him. I believe it is almost time for Jesus to return for His Church (Believers).  1 Thessalonians 4:17 states, We, who are still alive and are left will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air. And so, we will be with the Lord forever (NIV).

I understand that there are some who believe Christians will go through the end days or tribulation with those who don’t believe in Jesus Christ, but I am not one. I want to be as ready as possible to meet my Savior whenever He decides its time.

Many Christians will tell you that they feel it too. The heaviness and urgency of getting ready. Most of my thoughts are not on what is wrong in the world but finding ways to help people understand that there may not be much time left to get ready for Jesus’ coming. I know that many think of this topic as ridiculous but as a true believer that has been on my knees praying for the lost to know Christ Jesus this is the most serious concern I have right now. How about you? Are you ready to go home? Are you prepared to meet the one who died and rose again so you could come home to be with him?

Jesus Christ is God’s Son plain and simple. He came, lived a perfect sinless life, and was sacrificed for our sins. He came because the Father loved us so much and knew if left to our own, we could not be apart of His family any longer. We needed a perfect man to take our place and pay our debt, that man was Jesus Christ. Believing in Him and knowing and asking forgiveness for the sins that put Jesus on the cross is the beginning. Turning to Jesus and asking Him to help us through God’s Holy Spirit will put your life on a path of healing and peace knowing as God prepares to send Jesus for us you will be among the ones who call Him Savior and Father.

I’m packing to go home, and I sure would like it if you could go with me. Until then let us pray for the eyes of the lost to be opened and the hearts of the weary to be full of the joy of knowing the living God. What a day the Homecoming of the Church will be! I am praying I will be next to you as we look into the loving face of Jesus and know we will always be with Him.

Your Sister in Christ,

Jacque Barnes


Thursday, July 2, 2020

It a Matter of the Heart



 When you lose your ability to trust the ones who are closest to you, it's hard to have a normal life. Being a victim of abuse can cause a person to live inward and rarely let others in. If the abuse happens repeatedly over many years, some individuals never get to the point of trust again. There are exceptions but without major work, it is near impossible to overcome.

One exception is laying yourself at the feet of Jesus Christ and giving Him everything, including the part of your life that has caused so much pain. You see abuse starts with our hearts. I know this sounds funny, but it really does. A therapist or even a cardiologist can’t come close to healing a broken heart, but Jesus can.


With many types of abuse, it starts with trust. Whether it is a parent or a stranger the victim has developed a trusting relationship most times. A child loves and trusts his or her parents, it’s just part of the parent-child relationship from the moment a child is born. The child is vulnerable and naturally trusts the parent will do everything to protect and shelter him or her from harm. If abuse begins to happen the child is not only being harmed in his or her body and mind, but their heart is harmed. The child is heartbroken, and trust will slowly disappear. 


The same happens when a stranger starts to groom a child. The abuser will begin by playing on the child’s heart. The grooming involves gaining trust and acceptance from the child. Once the abuser is satisfied that the child has given him or her their heart, they will slowly begin the abuse. 

You see it starts in the heart, in a place that is hidden from everyone but the victim. This is one reason it is so hard to heal from abuse unless you have the right kind of help. Healing must begin with love and respect on the part of the person helping the abused individual. Who better than the one who loved us enough to die for us? Jesus will begin to help regain trust and mend a heart that has been broken through abuse.

Don’t get me wrong, a therapist that specializes in abuse is never wrong, but it must begin with someone working with the abused person long enough to gain the respect and trust of that individual. It must start with the heart. Jesus is the only one who can truly heal an abused heart and give new life to anyone who has a heart that has been broken through abuse. Selecting a therapist who understands Jesus and His way of healing can lead to a heart that is full of trust, love, and forgiveness. 

A Life that is free of the chains of resentment and hatred has room for Love and forgiveness. Letting Jesus heal our hearts will never prove to be a mistake. A heart mended through Jesus Christ will always have peace and freedom from the scars of abuse. 

Wednesday, April 1, 2020

Sack Cloth and Ashes

Ok this is where we should put on sack cloth and ashes and began to plead for mercy from God! As a Nation we have made everything an idol except the one who is able to save us. We sacrifice to everything that will bring us pleasure and riches. It's time to get on our knees and as forgiveness and ask for a change of heart. Please stop asking God to heal our home and nation without first repentance of where we've fail Him! We do that and I can promise things will start to turn around for us. God is in charge people and loves us deeply but will not move until we make changes in our lives and in our hearts. Just saying! Love y'all ❤️

Thursday, March 26, 2020

Where the Rubber Meets the Road




If you don’t already know, the time has come to make a choice. Because when the Rubber meets the road, God is the only one who can turn this situation around.  Science and medical communities can only do what God gives them the ability to do. God is and has always been in control.

Throughout history, our world has seen many disasters, some man-made, some natural.  I’m not one who believes that God has caused these disasters, but I do believe that He has allowed them. Man, on the other hand, has been responsible. Since the fall of man in the garden, our world has been on a path of one disaster after another. Sin has taken over this world and nothing is out of reach of the evil that was produced when it entered the Earth.  God gave man a choice to either believe Him and obey or to listen to the lies of Satan and spend his days away from the Creator who loved and protected them. The choice is apparent to anyone who will open their eye. Genesis 2: 16-17 clearly states this, “And Jehovah God commanded the man, saying, Of every tree of the garden thou mayest freely eat: but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, thou shalt not eat of it: for in the day that thou eatest thereof thou shalt surely die” (NSV, Bible).

Although God is in control, He has let us make our own mind up about what we believe. Consequences come from the choices we make. When we decide to break the rules of how our world is set up, we will suffer from those decisions. Galatians 6:7 states, “Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows” (NLT, Bible). If we allow the Creator of All things, God, take the reins, things will start to level out and correct themselves. History has many examples of this happening.

For God to begin to set things right with us we must believe Him and accept that He has reached out with His own Son Jesus. God allowed Jesus to come into this world and live a full life, with choices, in order to set things right once and for all. There needed to be one man who could live life without sin to fulfill the role of sacrifice. God’s son would have to make the choice to give Himself to death as a sacrifice for mankind’s sin. Jesus did what the rest of us could not, He lived a sinless life and gave Himself to die for us so we could come back to our Creator Father and find life again with Him. 2 Corinthians 5:21 states, “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (NLT, Bible). There is not enough thanks and praise in the world to make up for such a gift.


In this life, we will always be subjected to the sins of man, but if we make that commitment to believe God and accept that Jesus paid the price to make it right with the Father we can walk through this world and anything it throws at us, knowing that God is in control of our lives and that He will never leave us. Romans 8:28 says, “We know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose” (NIV, Bible). I know I have been eternally blessed and been given new hope through my savior Jesus Christ and I pray that you have also. Please if you haven't accepted this free gift of salvation do it today and watch your life change.

People throughout history have had to live through earthly disasters and plagues, and many have suffered, but the ones who took the hand of Jesus have given thanks instead of living in dread. They have been the ones who come out singing instead of crying. James 1:2-4 states, “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything” (NIV, Bible). We will bend but will not break! Take this time to gain strength and wisdom in Christ. Pray, Praise, and read His Word. I promise it will give you peace that this world cannot. Please choose to praise Him for His mercy and goodness today and just watch what He does tomorrow.

Your Sister in Christ,
Jacque

Friday, February 14, 2020

Valentine from God



As we give gifts of appreciation and love to the special people in our lives let us also realize that God is also wishing us a Happy Valentines Day. Not in the sense of giving us superficial gifts like roses and candy but just the fact that we celebrate a day where we outwardly appreciate the people in our lives that we love is a gift from God.  God is love and has from the beginning of time shown us how much He loves us and how He wants us to love one another.

1 John 4:8 states, "God is love." Not only does God love; love is part of His essential nature (Bible). Love is who God is, therefore He cannot but love. What a beautiful picture of who God is. His whole nature is love! Some examples of His love for us is His Son, Jesus.  1 John 4:9 explains, “This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him” (Bible). John 3:16 goes on to say, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (Bible). By giving us the gift of salvation through His son, His grace is also revealed and counted as Love.

Grace is something that God has extended to us as the result of Jesus, His only son, dying for our sins. It cannot be bought or loaned, it cannot be bartered with. It is free. God’s Grace is the most loving gift anyone could ever receive. Ephesians 2:8-9 explains it this way, "For by grace you have been saved through faith. And this is not your own doing; it is the gift of God, not a result of works, so that no one may boast” (Bible). If you are a child of God you have been given grace, not because you deserve it but because God loves you unconditionally. Another expression of God's love is His preparation of a home for us. 

Heaven is a place we Christians long for, It is our hope and our future. In John 14:2-3 Jesus promises, "In my Father's house are many rooms. If it were not so, would I have told you that I go to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also” (Bible). What love God is showing to us just by giving us the promise of our new home with Him. God gives us many hints into what this home will be like and it will be wonderful but being face-to-face with Jesus will be the best gift yet.

The Bible is full of other examples of God’s love for us, but the very nature of God is reason enough to know we are loved dearly by our Lord and Creator. We are God’s creation and He created us to bring Glory to Him. Loving us and us taking His hand and trusting Him to keep His promises is doing just that, bringing Honor and Glory to our Father, the God of Creation.

Happy Valentines Day!
Your Sister in Christ
Jacque Barnes

Saturday, December 21, 2019

A Life Lived


I have thought for several years that I was settled and knew what life was about and “bam” I’m hit from the front with the realization that I’ve really missed the mark.


I recently had a tragedy happen in my life, no really several tragedies, matter a fact. I have suffered the loss of my father, my father in law, and two very close friends within the past six months. This week topped the list, one of my deceased friend’s daughter was murdered one month after her passing. Although I have been devastated and heartbroken over each one of these deaths, this young woman’s death has affected me like no other. My life has changed directions forever.

This young lady was like so many others growing up. She was from a divorced home but grew up knowing her parents loved her more than anything. She was an only child, so she was a bit spoiled. I met her when she was in her early twenties, she was the daughter of a very close friend of mine. She became involved in drugs and things started to go downhill from there. She ended up losing custody of her two children and her husband divorced her. Although I knew she loved her children the addiction was controlling her life. After a while, she landed in jail.

During her stay in jail, she began to want to change the direction of her life. She went through a rehab program and put in the time and effort it took to stay clean and sober. She accepted Jesus as her Lord and Savior and gave her life to Him. This young woman went to school and eventually received a master’s degree in drug abuse counseling. Within time she was reunited with her children and remarried her children’s father. She started living the life that she only prayed she would see one day. God had given her back everything she ever lost due to her drug use.



Well, eleven years passed, and she had become the assistant director of a counseling center where she helped people wanting to regain their lives the same way she had. She put in numerous hours encouraging people and pushing them to stay the path. It was not unusual for her to stay late counseling someone who was desperately trying to hold on to hope. This young woman had become a dearly love and productive member of society. Her family also reaped the benefits of her life change. Her two sons were also going down a path of helping others. She was the “real deal” and her life reflected this. Her Fruits were very evident for all to see. God blessed her and she, in turn, paid it forward and blessed others with her encouragement and sincere love. But life made a left turn and it changed everything.

Last week after a scheduled group meeting, she decided to step back into her office before heading home for the evening. A young man apparently forced his way into her office and within 15 minutes had raped and stabbed her until she was dead. That quick she was gone. It was not until the next morning that her lifeless and nude body was found. The young woman who had fought the nightmare of addiction and had won was gone. Her life was taken by the hands of a man who she did not know but would have helped if he would have asked her. Would he have done this if he had known her story or understood just how much this young woman meant to her family, friends, and the community? Why, why would he do this to such a woman with so much to give and so much to look forward to in life?


Her death has left me exhausted and afraid. I’m exhausted trying to wrap my head around why this happened and afraid of a future where such a prize can be taken away in such a devastating way. The truth is deaths like hers happen daily in this world. Families, friends, and communities lose these precious people every day. Another truth is most people are desensitized to this type of violence until it hits close to home. I’m ashamed to say I have been one of those people, but how do you change this? In the world, today do we really want to be sensitized to this type of thing when it happens every day?

I’m left with a question that may never be answered honestly until Jesus makes all things known one day. Until that day I will keep on praying for others and encouraging people to keep on living a life full of love and respect for others. This is the legacy this young woman has left us. She fought through life and learned how to succeed. She placed her trust in God and ask Jesus to be her Lord and Savior. She then went out and helped others fight and win. She encouraged them every step of the way. I won’t use her name out of respect for her family, but I will always remember her and how her compassion and faith in God changed this world for the better. Sweet Lady, you will be missed. Until we meet again.

Your Sister in Christ,
Jacque

Thursday, October 10, 2019

Stopping the Spirit of Antichrist in Our Families, Communities and Nation


I’ve got to say that I’m exhausted. Not from any physical work but from the constant flood of negative messages that are all but impossible to run from. Where do you go to remove yourself from this “thing” that is draining the life out of anyone who will listen to it?

This “thing” that I’m talking about is nothing more, in my opinion than the spirit of antichrist. The spirit of antichrist is the complete opposite of what the “Real” Christ stands for.  Jesus Christ, the Messiah, stood for Loving your neighbor even more than yourself.  In Mathew 22: 37-39 Jesus replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself” (NIV). He never condoned running over people like a stampede because their opinions were different or making others feel like a sub-human because they do not agree with the political agenda of the day. Jesus was a kind and caring man who, although God of the Universe, always thought of others before himself. His death on the Cross proved that.


The antichrist spirit, on the other hand, is a lying, manipulating, and is a downright destructive force that is only interested in one thing, itself. This evil is spreading like a wildfire across our nation and is not letting up. It's stealing, killing and destroying everything in its path. You can see its aftermath in the families, communities, and courtrooms all over this nation. Our once Christian Nation with the values that made us the greatest country in the world is all but a memory. But its not over yet.

We still have a chance if only we will turn back to God and ask for His forgiveness and once again turn our faces toward the One who can save us. Jesus Christ is the only hope we have. Our families, communities, and nation depends on it. 2 Chronicles 30:9 states, “If you return to the LORD, then your fellow Israelites (people) and your children will be shown compassion by their captors and will return to this land, for the LORD your God is gracious and compassionate. He will not turn his face from you if you return to him” (NIV).

If we will just stop and look around at what is happening and ask for God’s help, He will help us. He will protect us and walk through this with us. 2 Thessalonians 3:3 states, “But the Lord is faithful, and he will strengthen you and protect you from the evil one” (NIV). Another verse that promises God will be with us is Deuteronomy 31:6 which states, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you” (NIV).

I, for one, am going to turn away from the antichrist spirit and ask God to forgive me for my involvement in this destruction. I’ll ask Him to forgive me for not loving others like I love myself and ask Him to help me understand what that looks like in this world. If God is for us who can be against us? Not even the spirit of antichrist can defeat us if we are holding on to what Jesus did for us and having faith in what He has promised us.

Let’s start today putting our faith in a loving and caring Savior and although it may not be politically correct, turn our hearts and minds away from the lies and deception of the antichrist that has already gotten a firm hold on our country.



Your Sister in the Real Christ, Jesus,
Jacque Barnes

Tuesday, August 13, 2019

Prophetic Proof of God's Faithfulness


There is a day, in the Jewish calendar, that has recently caught my attention. It is Tisha B’Av, which is the 9th day of the month of Av. This year, 2019, Tisha B’ Av fell on August 11th on the Gregorian or Western calendar. As you might know, the Jewish calendar and the Western calendar are a bit different. The Jewish calendar is based on the moon or lunar cycles while the western calendar is based on the sun or solar cycles. Regardless of the calendar, Tisha B’ Av is a very extraordinary day.

Tisha B’Av is considered the saddest day of all the days on the Jewish calendar (Five Calamities, 2019). The Jewish people will fast and pray for three weeks to commemorate the destruction of the Jewish Temple in Jerusalem that happened on the 9th day of Av.  In fact, much sadness has happened on or near this date throughout history showing us that God is working through the Jewish people to relate a message of His greatness.

To start the list, I will begin with Moses. After a time in the desert with the children of Israel, he sent 12 men to spy out the land of Canaan, which would later become Israel. The spies returned with only two having good news, the other 10 reported a land impossible to conquer. This report caused the people to panic and question God’s instructions. God punished the people telling them that their generation would not go into the land. If you will remember only Joshua and Caleb, the two spies that had a positive report, where allowed to enter from the whole generation of people over 20 years of age. The Lord told them that their crying would be pointless and that He would fix a day, that same day, where they would remember this time (Five Calamities, 2019). I believe this date was set by God to become a day of sadness throughout time for the people of Israel.

The Tisha B' Av prophecy showed its head again during the destruction of the first Jewish temple. In 587 BCE. Nebuchadnezzar king of Babylon took the Jewish people into captivity and destroyed the first Jewish Temple built by King Solomon (Five Calamities, 2019). After the Babylonian captivity was over the people came home and began to rebuild.

Ezra and Nehemiah was among the ones involved in building the second Temple. Although constructed to specification the temple was not the jewel King Solomon built. A few hundred years later Herod the Great expanded the temple and all who saw it was amazed in its beauty and greatness. Jesus proclaimed in Mathew 24: 2 stating, “Do you see all these things?” he asked. “Truly I tell you, not one stone here will be left on another; everyone will be thrown down.” (Bible, NIV). This very temple was destroyed by Roman in 70 CE during the 9th of Av. The Romans killed over 500,000 Jewish men and women and scattered the ones who survived to the four corners of the earth commencing the exile that continued for almost 2000 years (Five Calamities, 2019). This is just another reminder of the day God pronounced judgment on the Israeli people. A coincidence, I don’t think so. Other historical events have happened on or around the 9th of Av having a direct impact on the Jewish people.

On August 15, 1096 (24th of Av) the first of the Crusades began. 10,000 Jewish people were killed in just the first month.

On July 18,]1290 (9th of Av) England expelled the Jewish people and 16 years later, on the 10th of Av, France followed suit.

Most people know that in 1492 Columbus set off from Spain to discover the new land. What many don’t know is that in that same year, 7th of Av, Spain also expelled the Jewish people from its lands. Makes me wonder if many were on board the ships with Columbus going to a new land.

August 1st -2nd 1914 (9th-10th of Av) are two days that bring about great sadness to the Jewish people. It was on these days that Germany entered World War I (Five Calamities, 2019). Jewish people all over Europe began to suffer anti-Semitism.

A couple of decades later, on August 2, 1941 (9th Av) Heinrich Himmler, an SS commander got the OK from the Nazi Party to begin the “Final Solution”. On July 23, 1942 (9th Av) the mass of Jewish people from the Warsaw Ghetto began their trip to Treblinka to be exterminated. 

The Holocaust had begun and as a result, more than one-third of the Jewish people in the world, more than 6,000,000 were killed (Five Calamities, 2019). The worse mass murder in history.

Other incidences have occurred on the 9th of Av that has left a lasting impression on the Jewish people. On July 18th1994 (10th of Av) 85 Jewish people were killed and 300 injured after a bomb exploded in a Jewish community in Buenos Aires. While on August 15, 2005 (10th of Av) 8000 Jewish people were pushed out of the Gaza Strip leaving many homeless and destitute.

Although the Holocaust lasted for many years. Most refer to Tisha B’ Av as the day to mourn in addition to or instead of the official Holocaust Memorial Day.


There is so much more information about Tisha B’ Av but I think you can see that God stands by His word. He marked a day for remembrance, and He intended for it to not be forgotten.
As Christians we should be reminded of God’s faithfulness to His word and know, as He said in John 3:16, “Whoever believes in His Son Jesus will never perish and have everlasting life” He intends to keep His word (Bible).

                                                                Reference

Five Calamities, August 12, 2019,https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tisha_B%27AvS


Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Where do I go From Here?

It’s been a while since I have sat down at this computer to write or read anything. Matter of fact I have not opened this computer in a few months. After my daddy passed I kind of entered a limbo. I never meant for this to happen, but it did. It has been hard. Daddy was a strong force in my life and I have had to get my sea legs being without him. But God, Wonderful and Magnificent as He is, has begun to heal the wounds and reshaping my life.

Limbo after the death of a parent is something that I have never been through before. Since that time, I have learned that this experience is something that is to be learned by experience and never taught. You enter into a numbness that you feel will never leave. As time passes life begins to look familiar again and the sadness of the loss begins to change and become more like a longing to share the good memories instead of the memories of the end.

Getting your sea legs is more like learning to walk again. You are never going to be the same person you were when you lost your parent.  Regardless of your age, you are forced to become the adult you only thought you were before. You no longer have that parent to call and ask advice and hear the encouraging words, "It's going to be ok, I'm here for you and you know I'll always love you". It's a process and it doesn't happen overnight but eventually, there you are. All grown up with no idea of where to begin your new life without the one who leads you so many years. But God!!!


One of the most precious lessons I have learned from the loss of my daddy has been God's presence in my life even when I could not say a prayer to ask for His help. I know for a fact, from my experience, if you are a child of God and have Jesus as a friend your healing will begin without your effort. The Holy Spirit held me close and comforted me in ways no family member or friend could ever do. Don't get me wrong, I did have times of great grief and mourning but the sting was lessened by His constant attention to my needs. Although the loss of my daddy has been great and the wounds are deep God is healing and reshaping. I'm a different person because of my loss, but I have a feeling after God has finished this process I will be a more loving and caring person, one who is always ready to encourage and give good advice to the ones who need it.


Thank you God for Your patience with me and Thank you daddy for your life lessons I never realized I was learning.

Anyone interested in my life of abuse?

 I’vee not posted much lately but I’m just overwhelmed by how much abuse I’ve gone through and hidden it from everyone. Child physical abuse...