It’s been a while since I have sat down at this computer to write or read anything. Matter of fact I have not opened this computer in a few months. After my daddy passed I kind of entered a limbo. I never meant for this to happen, but it did. It has been hard. Daddy was a strong force in my life and I have had to get my sea legs being without him. But God, Wonderful and Magnificent as He is, has begun to heal the wounds and reshaping my life.Limbo after the death of a parent is something that I have never been through before. Since that time, I have learned that this experience is something that is to be learned by experience and never taught. You enter into a numbness that you feel will never leave. As time passes life begins to look familiar again and the sadness of the loss begins to change and become more like a longing to share the good memories instead of the memories of the end.
Getting your sea legs is more like learning to walk again. You are never going to be the same person you were when you lost your parent. Regardless of your age, you are forced to become the adult you only thought you were before. You no longer have that parent to call and ask advice and hear the encouraging words, "It's going to be ok, I'm here for you and you know I'll always love you". It's a process and it doesn't happen overnight but eventually, there you are. All grown up with no idea of where to begin your new life without the one who leads you so many years. But God!!!
One of the most precious lessons I have learned from the loss of my daddy has been God's presence in my life even when I could not say a prayer to ask for His help. I know for a fact, from my experience, if you are a child of God and have Jesus as a friend your healing will begin without your effort. The Holy Spirit held me close and comforted me in ways no family member or friend could ever do. Don't get me wrong, I did have times of great grief and mourning but the sting was lessened by His constant attention to my needs. Although the loss of my daddy has been great and the wounds are deep God is healing and reshaping. I'm a different person because of my loss, but I have a feeling after God has finished this process I will be a more loving and caring person, one who is always ready to encourage and give good advice to the ones who need it.
